Davethedealer

Wiiiiiiiiiii!

2008-02-19T10:41:15Z

Dave Jnr took great pleasure the other day in telling me how Nintendo's Wii console is going to oust Microsoft's Xbox as the console with the largest global installed base, leaving the poor old PlayStation in third place. This was obviously to justify the huge amount I had recently spent on buying all the latest Wii games. Personally I love the Wii - it is simple enough for oldies such as myself to play it and also means I can whup the youngsters in quite a few games and leave them looking red faced for a change.

Fund Fair

2006-12-04T14:17:38Z

I was chatting with one of my contacts the other days about MDF. After remarking how stupid that geezer looks on that Changing Rooms TV programme, the reseller happened to mention the good old days. Although apparently, some resellers, ahem, my rivals of course, are still not playing fair with the marketing funding it is receiving from its vendor. Apparently, according to my mate this VAR put its MDF towards a very nice new shiny box at Twickham. Cheeky beggar, wish I’d thought of that.

Jibber Jabber

2006-12-04T14:16:54Z

How true the world can be sometimes. Research came outlast week claiming that women talk more then men. And not just a little bit. Women apparently speak 20,000 words a day, while men speak around 7,000. I’m glad there is finally scientific proof that men honestly can’t get a word in edgeways where the female of the species is concerned. I told both Shirl’ and Her Indoors about. Stupid of me really - I haven’t stopped hearing about it since.

Baileys Comet

2006-12-04T14:16:20Z

The awards always pass in a bit of a daze for me. I think its because I’m obviously working too hard – it has nothing to do with those double whisky’s I’m sure. Mind you I reckon Bill Bailey had had a few as well. Seems he was over come by his excellent rendition of Lady in Red and Move your Body in cockney style. Not to mention the techno Hockey Cokey. Mind you, lucky the geezer did good and despite the red wine he was clasping all night, managed to deliver the awards presentation in great style.

Baileys Comet

2006-12-04T14:16:20Z

What a card

2006-12-04T14:15:41Z

I bumped into someone that used to drink down my local at the CRN Channel Awards – turns out he now works for one of the big distributors. When I asked for a business card he said he didn’t have one from the distributor but gave me one from his sideline photography business instead. Now correct me if I'm wrong but the Channel Awards is probably the biggest networking event of the year for channel players so if I was his boss I wouldn’t be too impressed. And judging by the busty blonde pictured on his business card I can just imagine what kind of photography he specialises in!!

2006-09-08T15:38:39Z

Her Indoors and I often enjoy a bottle of wine (or 10) of an evening, but I openly admit that I don't know a good vintage from a £3.99 special at Tesco. However, a 60cm-tall wine sniffing robot has been invented that can distinguish good wine from bad. An object placed against a sensor on the robot's arm triggers an infra-red beam which is then analysed to reveal the object's chemical make-up. The robot then names the brand and describes the wine with comments such as, "a full-bodied shiraz". However, some would say simply reading the label is a cheaper and quicker alternative.

Calls with balls

2006-09-08T15:33:20Z

Business phone calls are boring at the best of times, but PC manufacturer Evesham Technology has come up with a way of spicing up even the most dull conversation. It has launched the Verballs – a horned critter that plugs into the PC and waves its ‘arms’ around when a call comes through. It has a load of spangly lights as well apparently. To be honest listening to Gordon trying to charm his way through a sales call is entertainment enough so I won’t need one in the Dodgi office. But at least it is hard evidence that the IT industry speaks a load of (ver)balls.

A drop in the sea

2006-09-08T15:32:19Z

Telephony vendor Alcatel sponsored 14 individuals to complete a charity bike ride spanning 140 miles from Whitehaven to Sunderland. The group of cyclists accomplished the Sea to Sea cycle route in just three days and Alcatel donated £1,600 to various charities. Wow. How generous of the French vendor who turned over €930m in its most recent financial year.

Hanging with The Hoff

2006-07-04T13:43:28Z

I can't believe the furore surrounding the recent UK visit of a certain actor that happened to star in two of the biggest TV series ever. Gordon was extremely jealous of the CRN team members who were lucky enough to get their pictures taken with the legend that is David Hasselhoff at a recent press party hosted by Pipex. Gordon, (who still has a Knight Rider and a Baywatch poster on his bedroom wall), has been frantically submitting comments to the caption competition in the hope that he will win the "fabulous prize" on offer. He doesn't have a clue what it is, but some kind of box set featuring The Hoff will be enough for him. He is easily pleased.

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Egg-stra special Easter

2006-04-13T13:34:29Z

We are just winding down in the office for Easter and stuffing our faces with chocolate eggs. Her Indoors was nagging me to buy her an extra special egg this year and pointed me in the direction of one that cost £50,000. I'm sure she thinks everyone who works in IT is as rich as Bill Gates! it is the one encrusted in diamonds and is currently being guarded round the clock until it is sold. Who would want to pick diamonds out of their teeth every time they fancy some chocolate? Also what if you swallowed them accidentally? There's a lot to be said for a £2.99 job from a supermarket.

shopaholic

2006-02-24T18:43:53Z

Well, well well, I know some channel executives don't have the best reputation when it comes to what they get up to on business trips or what exactly they do with all the marketing development funding, but I never thought I see the day this happened. Apparently, according to my sources down the Dog and Duck, one former channel CEO will soon be appearing in court up north for a little bit of alleged light-fingered shopping....if you catch my drift. I've heard of sharing the wealth but sure this is distributing it too far...

Love online

2006-02-14T13:39:10Z

Oh la la. Its seems us Euro-types like a bit of cyber-loving. I was trawling through some Valentines Day research (any excuse for those research bods to give us more useless info), and I discovered that the number of Europeans trying to find love online rose 43 per cent last year. Our US counterparts though must be going through the more traditional route of getting drunk in bars and lunging at as may people as possible to pick people up, as the number of them going cyber for a soul mate decreased by 19 per cent last year.

Email nasty

2006-02-14T13:31:59Z

Apparently one in eight people have received an offensive email in the past year, according to figures in the annual British Crime Survey. The survey also revealed that one in 11 people received an offensive text or telephone message. Personally I don’t think there's anything wrong with the odd insulting email – it certainly keeps Gordon and Shirl on their toes!

Memories of a geisha

2006-02-14T13:31:07Z

I've heard on the grape vine last week about this mate of mine who went away with a well-known printer vendor. He reckoned the New York trip was top-notch; he went to a Knicks v Lakers basketball game at Madison Square Gardens, had a helicopter flight over the Big Apple and got to go on a guided tour around a police station.

Thing is it all sounded great until he said they were taken to a rather dodgy Japanese karaoke establishment one night complete with Geisha girls.